Before my husband left for work today he asked me to clean the nursery. Sure hun, right after I feed babies, deal with the Schwan's guy, read, eat, feed babies again, nap (me and he babies), wake up real quick as you come up the driveway, feed babies, blog. Have I mentioned that I'm the worlds worst housewife? I cant cook to save my life, hence the Schwan's. Hubby's an awesome cook and enjoys doing it, but sometimes I feel like a better wife if I pop something in the oven before I leave for work so he doesn't have to worry about it. And I hate to clean. I'm not neat at all. I think the floor is just one big laundry basket and don't even talk to me about under the bed. Before my husband and I got serious, I begged him to get back with his last girlfriend so she could clean the house.
The babies have just started to grab things with their hands,so I tried to get them to do it. I mean, it is their rooms and their things. They gotta learn to clean after themselves sometime, right? I mean I've been cleaning their butts for almost 5 months now, it's time they start pitching in. I even tried to get our foster dog Abby to help. She was real good at picking stuff up, not so good at putting it where it went, or letting it go. It's so hard to find good help these days.
Luckily for me, I'm pretty good with the whole baby thing. I mean, 'cause really, hubby doesn't have any other reason for keeping me around.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Halloween Fail, Parenting Win and TMI
We didn't make a big deal out of Halloween this year. For these reasons: Our big kids are just a bit too big for trick-or-treating, the little ones are too little to enjoy it, it isn't a big deal, and it fell on a Monday. I had planned on ordering costumes for the babies afterwards to get them on sale since it was just for pictures anyway, but my husband insisted I order them before. They arrived at my inlaws house about noon yesterday. Instead of dropping the babies off there and going to work, like I do half the time, I just stayed home and waited for hubby. Just as I was leaving he asked me "Are those costumes for next year"..."No? They're at your moms, they just got there."...long story short, he made me feel bad for not having them sooner (I still am not sure what he would have done with them, I was working yesterday evening after all) and I drove to work feeling like the worlds most neglectful parent.
But my girls most awesome pediatrician (see previous posts) made it all better today. The girls are right about the 50th percentile for height and weight, Savannah being a little smaller at 13lb5oz and Heather at 13lb11oz. For the actual age. She said not to even worry about the whole "adjusted age" bit anymore, they are well past the preemie stage and are doing everything they are supposed to on time. We would have started rice cereal today but hubby was asleep when I got home. I love him, but he's not my favorite right now.
*TMI Alert*
Exactly one year ago today, the girls were conceived :) I know this because I kept track of that stuff when I was trying.
But my girls most awesome pediatrician (see previous posts) made it all better today. The girls are right about the 50th percentile for height and weight, Savannah being a little smaller at 13lb5oz and Heather at 13lb11oz. For the actual age. She said not to even worry about the whole "adjusted age" bit anymore, they are well past the preemie stage and are doing everything they are supposed to on time. We would have started rice cereal today but hubby was asleep when I got home. I love him, but he's not my favorite right now.
*TMI Alert*
Exactly one year ago today, the girls were conceived :) I know this because I kept track of that stuff when I was trying.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Told you so!
I knew I'd get off-track with my blogging. It's not like I don't have the time or things to say, I usually just end up finding something else to do, like reading someone else's blog like Minivan Macgyver (Jen is such an inspiration to me, although I suspect she'd think me weird for saying so). As it turns out, I'm going to have plenty of time to blog since I got laid off last night. I'm not terribly upset about it, the money wasn't worth the hassle and gas of getting there. I am a little offended though, I was performing a very very menial task (I wont even embarrass myself by revealing what it was), and out of everyone else there, I was considered most expendable? My only worry is insurance.
A week before we found out I was pregnant, my husband was diagnosed with a very rare liver cancer called cholangiocarcinoma and was given a few months to live. Luckily we got a second opinion and found someone not far from home that would do the surgery that could potentially save his life. We were very fortunate, only a few hospitals in the US would even consider the surgery, and the one an hour from our home was one of them. A few weeks before his surgery was scheduled, we went to my first doctor appointment and she did an ultrasound. She was quiet for a few minutes, then waved him over and pointed at the screen. "Here's baby number 1..." I wont ever forget that. All three of us, doctor included went "Oh, shit!". She gave us 10 minutes to freak out before continuing the ultrasound. When the morning of the surgery came, the resident asked me how the baby was doing, I corrected him "Babies. Yea, twins. No pressure" He said "Oh my God, don't do that to me!". I'm sure that was on everyones' mind in the operating room. The surgery was a success, and afterwards the main surgeon came out and told us the details. He's done a lot of these, but said this was the most difficult, but was "99.9%" certain he got it all. He talked to us for a little while, and was pretty shaken. He hugged my mominlaw and I before he left, but not before I saw the tears welling up in his eyes. It's been almost a year since the diagnosis, and so far the cancer has not returned. He still has to do regular CT-scans to make sure it's gone, so its pretty important to us to continue to have health insurance. I looked into buying an individual plan just for him and we may just go that route. So far, it looks like I just may stay home and collect unemployment until the economy settles and enjoy my babies while they're little,
A week before we found out I was pregnant, my husband was diagnosed with a very rare liver cancer called cholangiocarcinoma and was given a few months to live. Luckily we got a second opinion and found someone not far from home that would do the surgery that could potentially save his life. We were very fortunate, only a few hospitals in the US would even consider the surgery, and the one an hour from our home was one of them. A few weeks before his surgery was scheduled, we went to my first doctor appointment and she did an ultrasound. She was quiet for a few minutes, then waved him over and pointed at the screen. "Here's baby number 1..." I wont ever forget that. All three of us, doctor included went "Oh, shit!". She gave us 10 minutes to freak out before continuing the ultrasound. When the morning of the surgery came, the resident asked me how the baby was doing, I corrected him "Babies. Yea, twins. No pressure" He said "Oh my God, don't do that to me!". I'm sure that was on everyones' mind in the operating room. The surgery was a success, and afterwards the main surgeon came out and told us the details. He's done a lot of these, but said this was the most difficult, but was "99.9%" certain he got it all. He talked to us for a little while, and was pretty shaken. He hugged my mominlaw and I before he left, but not before I saw the tears welling up in his eyes. It's been almost a year since the diagnosis, and so far the cancer has not returned. He still has to do regular CT-scans to make sure it's gone, so its pretty important to us to continue to have health insurance. I looked into buying an individual plan just for him and we may just go that route. So far, it looks like I just may stay home and collect unemployment until the economy settles and enjoy my babies while they're little,
Friday, August 26, 2011
Two Month Checkup
I love the girls pediatrician. As I mentioned before, she is really into education. Yesterday after telling her about the girls having crying jags the past two nights, she grabbed some chalk and drew a picture of the stomach on the blackboard in the room, illustrating how acid reflux occurs. She said if they continue to have problems they'll have to go on liquid Zantac. Last night they didnt have any problems, so we'll see. Savannah weighed 9lbs10oz and Heather was 9lbs14oz and they both were 22 1/4 inches long. They were about the 25th percentile for weight and 50th for length which is actually great considering preemies don't usually make the chart until 1 to 2 years of age. They also seem to be hitting milestones early, so that's great. I'm so proud of them and of myself for carrying them until they were healthy enough to come out, it wasn't easy near the end! Call me crazy, I can't wait to have more and do this all over again!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
All that worrying for nothing
So I didn't get the job. They decided to promote someone from within the company. Well, why the hell didnt they do that to begin with and left me the hell alone? I've been stressing about how I would manage everything if I took this job. I am the Queen of What-Ifs. Not to say that I'm an overly anxious person, having a complete meltdown every time the delicate balance of my life is upset. I just tend to over-analyze situations and try to plan for the worst-case scenario. Which ends up never being the case. Ever.
I am kinda disappointed that I didn't get the job, the money would have been nice, but everything else about it kinda sucked so I guess it's for the best. I have decided that going back to work full-time is the best course of action, so I've renewed my job-searching efforts.
I go back to my part time evening job tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it. It just seems like a waste of time. It doesn't pay much and the work is not intellectually stimulating at all. It was nice when I was pregnant and didn't feel like doing much of nothing.
I realized my last couple posts haven't been about the babies. They're both so good and easy that I haven't had moments of intense frustration that I needed to vent about. All the blogs and posts from other twin moms I've read all say something to the effect of "Oh, it'll get easier.". Hell, if that's the case, I can't wait! How could it be much better than this? Well, it would be nice if they could hold their own bottles, and hold onto me when I pick them up so I can carry them both with confidence, but other than that it's been great. I didn't have that instant connection the moment I saw them, and that first week was hell. After talking to a couple other moms, I didn't feel so odd. Anybody who says they feel anything but overwhelming exhaustion after giving birth is full of shit. I don't know when it happened, but I'm so in love with these little girls. They're freakin' perfect. I still want a little cowboy, but not in exchange for my little cowgirls.
We're already talking about having more. I just want one boy and I'll be set. I asked my husband last night how many more and he said 10. He was joking. I think.
I am kinda disappointed that I didn't get the job, the money would have been nice, but everything else about it kinda sucked so I guess it's for the best. I have decided that going back to work full-time is the best course of action, so I've renewed my job-searching efforts.
I go back to my part time evening job tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it. It just seems like a waste of time. It doesn't pay much and the work is not intellectually stimulating at all. It was nice when I was pregnant and didn't feel like doing much of nothing.
I realized my last couple posts haven't been about the babies. They're both so good and easy that I haven't had moments of intense frustration that I needed to vent about. All the blogs and posts from other twin moms I've read all say something to the effect of "Oh, it'll get easier.". Hell, if that's the case, I can't wait! How could it be much better than this? Well, it would be nice if they could hold their own bottles, and hold onto me when I pick them up so I can carry them both with confidence, but other than that it's been great. I didn't have that instant connection the moment I saw them, and that first week was hell. After talking to a couple other moms, I didn't feel so odd. Anybody who says they feel anything but overwhelming exhaustion after giving birth is full of shit. I don't know when it happened, but I'm so in love with these little girls. They're freakin' perfect. I still want a little cowboy, but not in exchange for my little cowgirls.
We're already talking about having more. I just want one boy and I'll be set. I asked my husband last night how many more and he said 10. He was joking. I think.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Decisions, decisions
I had my interview on Tuesday, if you can call it that. The woman pretty much just explained the position and asked if I was interested. It does sound like something I would enjoy doing. She asked what salary I wanted, I threw out one figure, which was a little low and she countered with something a little higher. Well shit, I shoulda started out higher and I may have gotten it. It's still triple what I make now, which aint saying much, but the insurance is a lot higher than what I pay now and the commute sucks.
All my family thinks I should take it. I almost wish I hadnt been offered it, I hate having to make this decision. Financially, its the right one to make, but I just dont know if its the right thing for our family. I mean, hubby has proved himself to be a great dad, he was right there when I needed him. Now that I handle most of it myself he's backed off. Deep down, I know they'll be taken care of, but I guess its the mom in me that worries whether they'll be taken care of according to my standards and way of doing things.
My mother-in-law is wonderful and has offered to babysit full time. I totally trust her to do it, but it's not really something I wanted her to do. She has a few health problems, and not that I feel that they would hinder her ability to watch them, I just know that she'd push herself to the limit to do what she needed and I love her too much to want that to happen. My father-in-law on the other hand, doesn't feel that she is physically capable and doesn't want her to babysit, but hasn't expressed that to her, only to my husband. The problem there is, he's the one employing my husband. I didn't have these children to pass off to someone else. They will stay with a family member, whether its daddy or grandma; so grandpa's gonna to end up mad either way and that makes me sad, I love my father-in-law.
My other problem is transportation. Now that I've gotten rid of the Mustang, my choices are my 15 mpg Durango, hubbys big truck that I cant stand driving or the 20 year old rustbucket convertible I bought when he needed to drive to Charlotte for radiation every day. At 100 miles per day, none of those are really a viable option. I had thought that maybe I could use my mother in laws car and leave her the SUV, but now I'm not so sure.
I'm going to take it if it's offered, and let it all work itself out.
All my family thinks I should take it. I almost wish I hadnt been offered it, I hate having to make this decision. Financially, its the right one to make, but I just dont know if its the right thing for our family. I mean, hubby has proved himself to be a great dad, he was right there when I needed him. Now that I handle most of it myself he's backed off. Deep down, I know they'll be taken care of, but I guess its the mom in me that worries whether they'll be taken care of according to my standards and way of doing things.
My mother-in-law is wonderful and has offered to babysit full time. I totally trust her to do it, but it's not really something I wanted her to do. She has a few health problems, and not that I feel that they would hinder her ability to watch them, I just know that she'd push herself to the limit to do what she needed and I love her too much to want that to happen. My father-in-law on the other hand, doesn't feel that she is physically capable and doesn't want her to babysit, but hasn't expressed that to her, only to my husband. The problem there is, he's the one employing my husband. I didn't have these children to pass off to someone else. They will stay with a family member, whether its daddy or grandma; so grandpa's gonna to end up mad either way and that makes me sad, I love my father-in-law.
My other problem is transportation. Now that I've gotten rid of the Mustang, my choices are my 15 mpg Durango, hubbys big truck that I cant stand driving or the 20 year old rustbucket convertible I bought when he needed to drive to Charlotte for radiation every day. At 100 miles per day, none of those are really a viable option. I had thought that maybe I could use my mother in laws car and leave her the SUV, but now I'm not so sure.
I'm going to take it if it's offered, and let it all work itself out.
Friday, July 29, 2011
5 weeks
I took the girls to their new pediatrician yesterday. I like her a whole bunch, she was very forthcoming with information and educating me on what to expect with the girls. They have both gained about 2 pounds each and grew nearly 2 inches. Heather is developing on time and Savannah is a couple weeks ahead. I hope Heather catches up soon, it would make me feel soo much better if they were both reaching milestones at the same time.
Also yesterday, I got a call from a company I interviewed with last year. I was in the process of deciding on a house during the interview process. When I didnt hear back, we moved into the house that my husband liked, but was over 50 miles away from the job. They ended up offering me the position, but I declined it because there would be no pay increase, then I went into work that night and lost my job. Now I'm working part time in the evenings for the bank for much less pay. Another position opened up with this company that they want to interview me for.
Well, shit. What am I supposed to do? Hubby can only work part time, his body just isnt up to working any more hours than he is and has to take much more painkillers than he would like just to function. It's been killing me to no longer be the breadwinner, but I did like being able to stay at home with the babies during the daytime. And now that I got rid of the Mustang, making a 100 mile commute daily in an SUV just doesnt make sense. I could make it work though...mominlaw offered to watch the kids in the daytime, so I could drop them and the SUV off in the morning and drive her coupe the rest of the way. Hubby could work even less hours since he works for his dad. If the moneys right, I would be an absolute moron to turn them down twice. I just hate to miss that much time with the girls. The interview is Tuesday, I know I'm going to spend all weekend worrying about it.
Also yesterday, I got a call from a company I interviewed with last year. I was in the process of deciding on a house during the interview process. When I didnt hear back, we moved into the house that my husband liked, but was over 50 miles away from the job. They ended up offering me the position, but I declined it because there would be no pay increase, then I went into work that night and lost my job. Now I'm working part time in the evenings for the bank for much less pay. Another position opened up with this company that they want to interview me for.
Well, shit. What am I supposed to do? Hubby can only work part time, his body just isnt up to working any more hours than he is and has to take much more painkillers than he would like just to function. It's been killing me to no longer be the breadwinner, but I did like being able to stay at home with the babies during the daytime. And now that I got rid of the Mustang, making a 100 mile commute daily in an SUV just doesnt make sense. I could make it work though...mominlaw offered to watch the kids in the daytime, so I could drop them and the SUV off in the morning and drive her coupe the rest of the way. Hubby could work even less hours since he works for his dad. If the moneys right, I would be an absolute moron to turn them down twice. I just hate to miss that much time with the girls. The interview is Tuesday, I know I'm going to spend all weekend worrying about it.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
So far, so good
We survived our first month! The girls turned 4 weeks yesterday and are doing great! They've gotten so big, I swear they've doubled in size since we brought them home. I don't know when it happened; one day I could hold them in one hand, the next day they outgrew their preemie clothes and fit into their newborn stuff. Other than the first week, it really hasn't been all that hard.
I thought I had them all figured out. In the womb, Heather was very active and Savannah just chilled in one spot. In fact, I could go all day without feeling Savannah kick and not be concerned because she just wasn't very active. Now it's completely opposite! And I know I didn't get them mixed up because Heather was bigger the whole pregnancy, and my doctor told me which one was in what position. Savannah rolled over onto her side the day we brought her from the hospital and now she doesn't sit still. I've gone into the nursery to find her not where I laid her down. A couple times she's scooted real close to Heather and Heather was in the process of trying to eat her leg. Today we were taking pictures of them together and Heather was trying to eat Savannahs head. Little cannibal!
They have a doctors appointment Thursday, I can't wait to see how much they've grown!
Monday, July 18, 2011
It's not so bad
The kids left for Florida today and in preparation for that I've been trying to handle the twins by myself. I've taken over nighttime feedings so hubby can sleep at night. It's easy for me to wake up, do what needs to be done and then go back to sleep; he can't quite do that. I've figured out that I can feed both girls at once by resting the bottle on a wadded up blanket. That's been a big help, but I feel a little guilty by not holding them while they're eating so I try to compensate by holding them at other times. They are awake at different times and that makes it easier to divide my time. I can hold them both at once, but it makes me a little nervous trying to pick up the second one.
Still don't have an airtight schedule, but I'm not worried about it. With so many different people helping me it's hard to enforce anyway; especially with hubby, who has no concept of time whatsoever. I try to feed around every 3 to 4 hours, but I usually wait until Savannah is hungry because Heather will eat whenever. They're getting sooooo big! They've outgrown their preemie clothes, but a lot of the newborn stuff still doesn't fit well. Savannah's really strong. She rolled over onto her side the day we brought her home, now she can get to her tummy. Last night, I swaddled her and laid her down parallel to Heather. I checked on her later and she had escaped her blanket and was lying perpendicular to Heather!
Tomorrow I'm staying at home instead of my in-laws where I've been since I got put on bedrest. I have a lot of cleaning to do (which I absolutely hate) and my MIL is going to be gone most of the day anyway, so if I'm going to be home alone anyway, I might as well be productive. I wont be completely flying solo though, my birth mom and little sister will be coming over since they keep their horses here now. But I think it should be fine, I'm more worried about the whole cleaning business, yech. Wish me luck!
Still don't have an airtight schedule, but I'm not worried about it. With so many different people helping me it's hard to enforce anyway; especially with hubby, who has no concept of time whatsoever. I try to feed around every 3 to 4 hours, but I usually wait until Savannah is hungry because Heather will eat whenever. They're getting sooooo big! They've outgrown their preemie clothes, but a lot of the newborn stuff still doesn't fit well. Savannah's really strong. She rolled over onto her side the day we brought her home, now she can get to her tummy. Last night, I swaddled her and laid her down parallel to Heather. I checked on her later and she had escaped her blanket and was lying perpendicular to Heather!
Tomorrow I'm staying at home instead of my in-laws where I've been since I got put on bedrest. I have a lot of cleaning to do (which I absolutely hate) and my MIL is going to be gone most of the day anyway, so if I'm going to be home alone anyway, I might as well be productive. I wont be completely flying solo though, my birth mom and little sister will be coming over since they keep their horses here now. But I think it should be fine, I'm more worried about the whole cleaning business, yech. Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I can do this
After watching a couple episodes of Make Room for Multiples, I'm feeling a LOT better (I can't imagine having triplets!!). While we're not on an airtight feeding schedule, it's getting there. Nighttime feedings are easier and I can handle them myself now. It is easier for someone else to feed one baby, but I'm not always going to have someone there to help. I cant wait until they can hold their own bottles!
My step-daugher R has completely surprised me. I was really worried that she would be very jealous and resentful since her dad wasnt around when she was little. She's been such a great help with feeding and changing and keeping an eye on them while I nap. She even told me I could wake her up in the middle of the night if I needed her. Too cute. It's really helped our relationship, she was the one I had the hardest time dealing with. I can't say the same for A, though.
A's had a real attitude problem since we brought the babies home. She's just been real difficult to deal with and she doesnt refer to them by their name; she'll call them That Baby or The Other One and it totally pisses me off. We've been calling them by their names since we settled on names a few months ago! I even try to dress Savannah in pink and Heather in purple to make it easier on everyone else to tell them apart at a glance. Maybe it's just the fact that she's no longer the baby of the house thats bothering her, I'm really not sure. The kids maternal grandmother is coming to pick them up to take them back to Florida for two weeks, and A is talking about not wanting to come back.
I'm torn on how I feel about that. On one hand, she's a pain in the ass most of the time and has a lot of issues that I really dont have the energy or resources to deal with. Also, if she was gone I would have room for another baby if/when I wanted it. But then I feel awful for feeling that way because I know that she doesnt really have a chance if she goes back to her mom. But then again, it's one thing to screw up my own kids, but I cant handle the thought of screwing up someone elses kids. I really dont know. Realistically I probably wont have to worry about it, since mom probably wont want to keep her (she reminds us of Casey Anthony, after she got rid of her kids, she added "Luv'n Life" as a signature to her text messages) and the decision will be made for me.
Whew...kinda went off on a tangent there. Also, I'm looking for a work-from-home job, if anybody knows of something legitimate, let me know!
My step-daugher R has completely surprised me. I was really worried that she would be very jealous and resentful since her dad wasnt around when she was little. She's been such a great help with feeding and changing and keeping an eye on them while I nap. She even told me I could wake her up in the middle of the night if I needed her. Too cute. It's really helped our relationship, she was the one I had the hardest time dealing with. I can't say the same for A, though.
A's had a real attitude problem since we brought the babies home. She's just been real difficult to deal with and she doesnt refer to them by their name; she'll call them That Baby or The Other One and it totally pisses me off. We've been calling them by their names since we settled on names a few months ago! I even try to dress Savannah in pink and Heather in purple to make it easier on everyone else to tell them apart at a glance. Maybe it's just the fact that she's no longer the baby of the house thats bothering her, I'm really not sure. The kids maternal grandmother is coming to pick them up to take them back to Florida for two weeks, and A is talking about not wanting to come back.
I'm torn on how I feel about that. On one hand, she's a pain in the ass most of the time and has a lot of issues that I really dont have the energy or resources to deal with. Also, if she was gone I would have room for another baby if/when I wanted it. But then I feel awful for feeling that way because I know that she doesnt really have a chance if she goes back to her mom. But then again, it's one thing to screw up my own kids, but I cant handle the thought of screwing up someone elses kids. I really dont know. Realistically I probably wont have to worry about it, since mom probably wont want to keep her (she reminds us of Casey Anthony, after she got rid of her kids, she added "Luv'n Life" as a signature to her text messages) and the decision will be made for me.
Whew...kinda went off on a tangent there. Also, I'm looking for a work-from-home job, if anybody knows of something legitimate, let me know!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Another long-winded, nonsensical post
Instead of catching up on some much needed sleep, I am wide awake and on the computer for the second time in two weeks. Considering I spend every waking moment either on my laptop or reading a book, this is quite a change. There are so many things I want to do that just aren't getting done. I really do want to fill out the baby books, and upload pictures and write thank-you notes and all sorts of stuff.
And it's okay. I have to keep telling myself that. It's going to be okay. People get through this part all the time. Bad mommies get through this part, so I'm sure I can do it too.
A day after we brought the babies home, Savannah (baby A) gave me such a scare that we rushed her to the ER in the driving rain. She just wouldn't wake up, wouldn't eat and was very lethargic. It reminded me of the sheep that I had bottle-fed earlier this year that upon weaning, starved to death because he just wouldn't eat grass (I felt awful, because I had joked that he was practice for the twins). The entire ride to the hospital, I was hysterical. My husband insisted on going all the way back to the place I delivered because the local hospitals weren't good enough. My mother-in-law and close friend from church met us there. We only waited a few minutes before being taken back into triage.
Then I felt like the worlds biggest moron, because Savannah woke up squalling after getting violated with the rectal thermometer. Not that I blame her, mind you. The doctor looked her over and said that she looked good, was back up to her birth weight and was just a lazy baby. So apparently I named the girls all wrong, I named Heather after her father because the entire pregnancy she was the one kicking, bouncing around and being a general pain in my ass. As it turns out, Savannah has been the problem child. She wouldn't breastfeed, making me feel like a complete and total failure.
I had a pretty bad case of the baby blues not long after we brought the babies home. Hubby really stepped up to the plate and took over when I really just...couldn't. He took over feeding Savannah because it would just frustrate the hell out of me that she wouldn't eat. What kind of crackpot mom am I that cant feed her kid?
My mom-in-law was also a great help. She noticed I wasn't feeling right and was very supportive, as usual. She is a wonderful person and such an inspiration to me. Once I realized that I didn't have to do everything by myself and that it was okay to lean on others for support, I felt much better. My advice for anyone with the baby blues is to be open with someone you trust about your feelings, that way you have a way to get it off your chest and someone else can keep an eye out for post-partum depression. A couple good naps and a few hours out of the house made everything all better.
We had doctors appointments at week one and week two, they're doing well. I like the doctor, she was the one that first saw signs of my husbands cancer, but I don't really feel that she's comfortable with babies. I took MIL on the second appointment and she asked her a bunch of questions that seemed to kinda stump her, so I'm going to take them to an actual pediatrician.
Savannahs' eating better, most of the time. She has a game she likes to play when she's not really very hungry. She'll suck on the bottle and fill her mouth then spit it all out.
We still have days and nights mixed up and I can tell it's really starting to wear on my husband. He's still in so much pain, which worries him. He made himself an appointment with the oncologist, so I know he's not feeling well. Last night, we just couldn't get them to calm down. They were fed and dry, but wouldn't stop crying. We had to put them in their room and just close the door. I felt awful.
But it's going to be okay. Right?
And it's okay. I have to keep telling myself that. It's going to be okay. People get through this part all the time. Bad mommies get through this part, so I'm sure I can do it too.
A day after we brought the babies home, Savannah (baby A) gave me such a scare that we rushed her to the ER in the driving rain. She just wouldn't wake up, wouldn't eat and was very lethargic. It reminded me of the sheep that I had bottle-fed earlier this year that upon weaning, starved to death because he just wouldn't eat grass (I felt awful, because I had joked that he was practice for the twins). The entire ride to the hospital, I was hysterical. My husband insisted on going all the way back to the place I delivered because the local hospitals weren't good enough. My mother-in-law and close friend from church met us there. We only waited a few minutes before being taken back into triage.
Then I felt like the worlds biggest moron, because Savannah woke up squalling after getting violated with the rectal thermometer. Not that I blame her, mind you. The doctor looked her over and said that she looked good, was back up to her birth weight and was just a lazy baby. So apparently I named the girls all wrong, I named Heather after her father because the entire pregnancy she was the one kicking, bouncing around and being a general pain in my ass. As it turns out, Savannah has been the problem child. She wouldn't breastfeed, making me feel like a complete and total failure.
I had a pretty bad case of the baby blues not long after we brought the babies home. Hubby really stepped up to the plate and took over when I really just...couldn't. He took over feeding Savannah because it would just frustrate the hell out of me that she wouldn't eat. What kind of crackpot mom am I that cant feed her kid?
My mom-in-law was also a great help. She noticed I wasn't feeling right and was very supportive, as usual. She is a wonderful person and such an inspiration to me. Once I realized that I didn't have to do everything by myself and that it was okay to lean on others for support, I felt much better. My advice for anyone with the baby blues is to be open with someone you trust about your feelings, that way you have a way to get it off your chest and someone else can keep an eye out for post-partum depression. A couple good naps and a few hours out of the house made everything all better.
We had doctors appointments at week one and week two, they're doing well. I like the doctor, she was the one that first saw signs of my husbands cancer, but I don't really feel that she's comfortable with babies. I took MIL on the second appointment and she asked her a bunch of questions that seemed to kinda stump her, so I'm going to take them to an actual pediatrician.
Savannahs' eating better, most of the time. She has a game she likes to play when she's not really very hungry. She'll suck on the bottle and fill her mouth then spit it all out.
We still have days and nights mixed up and I can tell it's really starting to wear on my husband. He's still in so much pain, which worries him. He made himself an appointment with the oncologist, so I know he's not feeling well. Last night, we just couldn't get them to calm down. They were fed and dry, but wouldn't stop crying. We had to put them in their room and just close the door. I felt awful.
But it's going to be okay. Right?
Friday, July 8, 2011
Here we are!
*Warning: Long Post Ahead*
So a day after my last post, I was going potty for the eight-millionth time when my water broke at 2:40pm. I called my husband, sloshed downstairs, told my mom-in-law and called my OB. They told me to come to the office to get checked out. I'm still not exactly sure why, but I hopped in the shower while I waited for hubby to pick me up. I was the most calm out of everyone, assuring them I was fine and that it'd probably be a while. I wasnt even having contractions. So I'm sitting on the table, still leaking like mad, when the mid-wife comes in to take a look. "Oh yeah, you're in labor, go to the hospital". Well no shit, Sherlock. I've expelled enough water to fill an Olympic-style pool, I'm pretty sure I could have come to the same determination.
We drove the extra 10 minutes to the hospital, wait an additional 10 at the triage desk before they put me in a room. At this point I stared having contractions and damn did they hurt! The nurse came in and determined that I am 7 cm dilated, after being 5-6 cm just 20 minutes ago at the office. My husband at this point had, or so I thought, gone to get my mother-in-law, but was taking too long to get back. I frantically called both their cell phones continuously until his mom answered. They were eating lunch! Fuckers. I wasnt speaking in complete sentences, but I managed to convey the fact that I wanted him back NOW. He made it back in time to get handed scrubs and sit through a few of my contractions. He made some smart ass comment and got cussed out. I didnt remember that part until he brought it up a few days later and now neither of us can remember what he said. (Or maybe he remembers and doesnt want to tell me). I even snapped at the nurse because I wanted those stupid heart monitors off so I could move. I am always polite to nurses, so I felt really bad afterwards. It wasnt very long before I was wheeled into the OR (Baby A was still breech, bad girl). As much as I didnt want a c-section, I was so relieved when that epidural hit. I had to ask my husband if the doctor had started cutting yet. He was elbow-deep in my tummy, apparently. Hubby held my hand the entire time, but peeked around the sheet to see his little girls come into the world. At 5:43pm, Baby A emerged screaming and weighed 5 lbs 3 oz and measured 18 inches long. Baby B joined her, also screaming, at 5:44pm at 5 lbs 11 oz and 18.5.
They're two weeks today, and it'll have to wait til another post to go over the past two weeks, I'm going to take a nap
So a day after my last post, I was going potty for the eight-millionth time when my water broke at 2:40pm. I called my husband, sloshed downstairs, told my mom-in-law and called my OB. They told me to come to the office to get checked out. I'm still not exactly sure why, but I hopped in the shower while I waited for hubby to pick me up. I was the most calm out of everyone, assuring them I was fine and that it'd probably be a while. I wasnt even having contractions. So I'm sitting on the table, still leaking like mad, when the mid-wife comes in to take a look. "Oh yeah, you're in labor, go to the hospital". Well no shit, Sherlock. I've expelled enough water to fill an Olympic-style pool, I'm pretty sure I could have come to the same determination.
We drove the extra 10 minutes to the hospital, wait an additional 10 at the triage desk before they put me in a room. At this point I stared having contractions and damn did they hurt! The nurse came in and determined that I am 7 cm dilated, after being 5-6 cm just 20 minutes ago at the office. My husband at this point had, or so I thought, gone to get my mother-in-law, but was taking too long to get back. I frantically called both their cell phones continuously until his mom answered. They were eating lunch! Fuckers. I wasnt speaking in complete sentences, but I managed to convey the fact that I wanted him back NOW. He made it back in time to get handed scrubs and sit through a few of my contractions. He made some smart ass comment and got cussed out. I didnt remember that part until he brought it up a few days later and now neither of us can remember what he said. (Or maybe he remembers and doesnt want to tell me). I even snapped at the nurse because I wanted those stupid heart monitors off so I could move. I am always polite to nurses, so I felt really bad afterwards. It wasnt very long before I was wheeled into the OR (Baby A was still breech, bad girl). As much as I didnt want a c-section, I was so relieved when that epidural hit. I had to ask my husband if the doctor had started cutting yet. He was elbow-deep in my tummy, apparently. Hubby held my hand the entire time, but peeked around the sheet to see his little girls come into the world. At 5:43pm, Baby A emerged screaming and weighed 5 lbs 3 oz and measured 18 inches long. Baby B joined her, also screaming, at 5:44pm at 5 lbs 11 oz and 18.5.
They're two weeks today, and it'll have to wait til another post to go over the past two weeks, I'm going to take a nap
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Get out of my belly!
35 weeks 3 days today. I went into preterm labor right about 3 weeks ago which they stopped. Last week my doctor took me off that yucky Procardia and I took me off bedrest. And theres been no progress. Zero. I'm still dilated 2 cms, and while I've had contractions, they havent been regular. Nor do they hurt, which is nice if a little concerning. Though it's not like I'm going to sleep through them, since I get up every hour to go potty. I'm getting pretty desperate, I've considered taking castor oil but my husband tattled on me at my doctors appointment yesterday and the doc told me not to do it. Jerks. Baby A still has her butt in my cervix, but instead of laying transverse, she's sitting up; so hopefully Baby B will push her outta the way when the time comes and I wont have to get sliced open.
I've gained just a hair under 40 lbs, but the last few weeks my tummy has like, exploded (not literally, unfortunately. That would be such a welcome relief). In the past month, I went from having no stretch marks to looking like a NYC road map. I was really hoping I'd be able to get away without any, but such is life I guess. The good news is my belly button isnt sticking out. Belly buttons just gross me out, bleh.
I've gained just a hair under 40 lbs, but the last few weeks my tummy has like, exploded (not literally, unfortunately. That would be such a welcome relief). In the past month, I went from having no stretch marks to looking like a NYC road map. I was really hoping I'd be able to get away without any, but such is life I guess. The good news is my belly button isnt sticking out. Belly buttons just gross me out, bleh.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Definitely Ready
32 weeks today. I have bragged throughout the entire pregnancy about how easy it was and even considered doing surrogacy because I'm carrying them so well.
Now. I. Am. Miserable. I ache everywhere, I can't get comfy in bed, I dont sleep for more than an hour, I'm tired of all this damn heartburn that wakes me up when needing to go potty doesnt. I've been paranoid this whole time about going into preterm labor, but now every night I hope it'll happen right now.
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I started that post 5/29. I had my 32 week appointment on 6/1. I had no complaints, so all they did was listen to heart tones and discuss once again delivery options. It was a different doctor than the one I had previously talked to about delivery, but I also liked him a lot. He was right there with me on the way I wanted to do things. He was a little concerned about how far away I lived and instructed me to call him when I had contractions 20 minutes apart. Actually, he specified that I call him from the road. He assured me that I would have false alarms and not to get frustrated if I showed up half a dozen times just to be sent back home.
Well, later that night I woke up from a nap not feeling quite right, so I called the doc and he said to go to the ER since it wasnt contractions. After waiting 2 hours in the waiting room, I had begun having contractions about 20 minutes apart. I told them at the front desk and I thought the nurse was going to fall through the floor. She threw me in a wheelchair and sprinted all the way to Labor & Delivery. Hubby couldnt keep up she was running so fast. They hooked me up to the monitor and saw that I was indeed having contractions. They gave me a Terbutaline shot to stop them (which made me feel yucky) and sent me home with instructions to go back to the doc the next morning.
The next morning they hooked me up to the monitor again and I was still having contractions, so I was scheduled for an ultrasound and then was to be admitted to the hospital for steroid shots. At 32 weeks, Savannah weighs 4lbs6oz and Heather was tipping the scales at 4lbs14oz.
What the hell? What kind of giant Amazon women do I have growing inside me? I've barely put on 40 lbs, I havent ever really kept to the 2,100 calorie diet and lets just say I'm not exactly religious with my prenatals (burn me at the stake, I know) Not to mention I'm apparently anemic now. I hope they're not going to grow up to be like 7 feet tall.
Anyway, yesterday my doc felt pretty good about their sizes and was ready to go ahead and take em out. Baby A is still breech, has been the entire pregnancy and if she's as stubborn as I am, she ain't moving. So a c-section is unavoidable. Dammit! She's so grounded when she's born. Unfortunately, I am no more dilated now than the other day so he's going to let me hang on a while longer. I've been given medicine for the contractions but they make me feel awful and I know that once I get home I wont take em so why not just get it over with?
Argh! So I'm here at the hospital for observation for one more day than I go home tomorrow unless something changes.
Now. I. Am. Miserable. I ache everywhere, I can't get comfy in bed, I dont sleep for more than an hour, I'm tired of all this damn heartburn that wakes me up when needing to go potty doesnt. I've been paranoid this whole time about going into preterm labor, but now every night I hope it'll happen right now.
_________________________
I started that post 5/29. I had my 32 week appointment on 6/1. I had no complaints, so all they did was listen to heart tones and discuss once again delivery options. It was a different doctor than the one I had previously talked to about delivery, but I also liked him a lot. He was right there with me on the way I wanted to do things. He was a little concerned about how far away I lived and instructed me to call him when I had contractions 20 minutes apart. Actually, he specified that I call him from the road. He assured me that I would have false alarms and not to get frustrated if I showed up half a dozen times just to be sent back home.
Well, later that night I woke up from a nap not feeling quite right, so I called the doc and he said to go to the ER since it wasnt contractions. After waiting 2 hours in the waiting room, I had begun having contractions about 20 minutes apart. I told them at the front desk and I thought the nurse was going to fall through the floor. She threw me in a wheelchair and sprinted all the way to Labor & Delivery. Hubby couldnt keep up she was running so fast. They hooked me up to the monitor and saw that I was indeed having contractions. They gave me a Terbutaline shot to stop them (which made me feel yucky) and sent me home with instructions to go back to the doc the next morning.
The next morning they hooked me up to the monitor again and I was still having contractions, so I was scheduled for an ultrasound and then was to be admitted to the hospital for steroid shots. At 32 weeks, Savannah weighs 4lbs6oz and Heather was tipping the scales at 4lbs14oz.
What the hell? What kind of giant Amazon women do I have growing inside me? I've barely put on 40 lbs, I havent ever really kept to the 2,100 calorie diet and lets just say I'm not exactly religious with my prenatals (burn me at the stake, I know) Not to mention I'm apparently anemic now. I hope they're not going to grow up to be like 7 feet tall.
Anyway, yesterday my doc felt pretty good about their sizes and was ready to go ahead and take em out. Baby A is still breech, has been the entire pregnancy and if she's as stubborn as I am, she ain't moving. So a c-section is unavoidable. Dammit! She's so grounded when she's born. Unfortunately, I am no more dilated now than the other day so he's going to let me hang on a while longer. I've been given medicine for the contractions but they make me feel awful and I know that once I get home I wont take em so why not just get it over with?
Argh! So I'm here at the hospital for observation for one more day than I go home tomorrow unless something changes.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Ready or Not...
Okay, they're not coming yet...but it just occured to me that they will eventually. It sounds silly, I know. It really wasnt until we got everything done that it really hit home that these little people will actually be living with us.
And it may be sooner than later. I got taken out of work last week by the doctor. Theres not anything specifically wrong. I called the on-call doc the night before complaining of contractions. He told me to drink water, take a shower (which has helped me every time I've been uncomfortable) and lay down. I didnt have any more problems so I just waited til next mornings appointment. They hooked up monitors to my belly to check heartbeats and contractions. Babies were fine and I didnt have any contractions while laying there, but the midwife was not thrilled with the uterine activity. In her words "I'm worried about the house, not the occupants". My cervix was fine though, if a little short according to the ultrasound tech. So I'm supposed to take it easy. In theory.
I've spent the last few days running around getting stuff ready for babies. Still needed nursery stuff and a vehicle! Oh, that drove me insane. I had to have a Double Snap-n-Go stroller because all the twin moms rave about them, so I had to get carseats that fit in it. I didnt consider that they also had to fit in my car. Which they didnt.
I had been kinda holding on to the hope that I'd be able to keep the bright "Performance Red" Mustang of my teenage years, but after trying to get those car seats to fit it was very obvious that I'd have to do what I said I'd never: drive an SUV. Ended up trading it Sunday for a "light pewter" Dodge Durango. It is so freaking nondescript it makes me cry. Dont get me wrong, it's very nice; in much better condition than my car and I was able to trade it straight across without paying anything, so I got a great deal. I'm going to miss my Mustang. I enjoyed the hell out of it, and it showed (I feel awful for the people that got it, but hey she wanted it). I guess it was just time. *sniff*
I also toured the maternity ward that day. I was pretty comfortable with it. My only disappointment was that with twins, regardless of c-section or not, I can labor in the room but I have to deliver in the OR. I also managed to get a private tour of the NICU and felt pretty good about it.
And it may be sooner than later. I got taken out of work last week by the doctor. Theres not anything specifically wrong. I called the on-call doc the night before complaining of contractions. He told me to drink water, take a shower (which has helped me every time I've been uncomfortable) and lay down. I didnt have any more problems so I just waited til next mornings appointment. They hooked up monitors to my belly to check heartbeats and contractions. Babies were fine and I didnt have any contractions while laying there, but the midwife was not thrilled with the uterine activity. In her words "I'm worried about the house, not the occupants". My cervix was fine though, if a little short according to the ultrasound tech. So I'm supposed to take it easy. In theory.
I've spent the last few days running around getting stuff ready for babies. Still needed nursery stuff and a vehicle! Oh, that drove me insane. I had to have a Double Snap-n-Go stroller because all the twin moms rave about them, so I had to get carseats that fit in it. I didnt consider that they also had to fit in my car. Which they didnt.
I had been kinda holding on to the hope that I'd be able to keep the bright "Performance Red" Mustang of my teenage years, but after trying to get those car seats to fit it was very obvious that I'd have to do what I said I'd never: drive an SUV. Ended up trading it Sunday for a "light pewter" Dodge Durango. It is so freaking nondescript it makes me cry. Dont get me wrong, it's very nice; in much better condition than my car and I was able to trade it straight across without paying anything, so I got a great deal. I'm going to miss my Mustang. I enjoyed the hell out of it, and it showed (I feel awful for the people that got it, but hey she wanted it). I guess it was just time. *sniff*
I also toured the maternity ward that day. I was pretty comfortable with it. My only disappointment was that with twins, regardless of c-section or not, I can labor in the room but I have to deliver in the OR. I also managed to get a private tour of the NICU and felt pretty good about it.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Divine Intervention
I'm not about to discuss religion here, or anywhere else for that matter. I've always felt like it's a private matter, like bodily functions, and thusly should be kept to yourself (I've been living with my husband for two years and still lock the bathroom door, much to his irritation). But I will say this: I totally believe that everything happens for a reason.
So last week I dealt with the drama of being dropped by the doctors office that I wasnt terribly happy with anyway. Today I went to visit the new doctors office for the first time, just to kinda get established. I was a little skeptical walking in. I mentioned that the doctor has been practicing OB for over 40 years, right? Well...I think he may have been in the same office for all that time too. It's a little...outdated. The building anyway, all the equipment was up-to-date. And since he's one of the very few OB's to take the Medicaid, he has a lot of um....under privileged patients. I'm not trying to be snooty or hypocritical, really I'm not, it just kinda concerned me that I had to consent to random drug testing.
Anyway, I was very impressed after my appointment. The nurse spent a long time with me going over my medical history as opposed to handing me a list of crap to check off. Then the Certified Nurse Midwife came in, and she spent a pretty good bit with me as well. We couldnt do the glucose or the ultrasound today. She did ask if there was anything I'd like for her to do today, and I told her I wanted my cervix checked just to put my mind at ease. Not once did I feel like I was being a bother or an inconvenience.
Then the moment of truth: I told her how I felt about having a c-section, and she said as long as baby A was head down, we could go for it. Whew! I realize things may not go as I imagine or plan them, but I am overjoyed at finding a practice (at the last minute, no less) that is right in line with how I'd like to do things. I have another appointment in two days to do all the stuff we didnt get to do today, so hopefully that visit will go as well as this one did.
So last week I dealt with the drama of being dropped by the doctors office that I wasnt terribly happy with anyway. Today I went to visit the new doctors office for the first time, just to kinda get established. I was a little skeptical walking in. I mentioned that the doctor has been practicing OB for over 40 years, right? Well...I think he may have been in the same office for all that time too. It's a little...outdated. The building anyway, all the equipment was up-to-date. And since he's one of the very few OB's to take the Medicaid, he has a lot of um....under privileged patients. I'm not trying to be snooty or hypocritical, really I'm not, it just kinda concerned me that I had to consent to random drug testing.
Anyway, I was very impressed after my appointment. The nurse spent a long time with me going over my medical history as opposed to handing me a list of crap to check off. Then the Certified Nurse Midwife came in, and she spent a pretty good bit with me as well. We couldnt do the glucose or the ultrasound today. She did ask if there was anything I'd like for her to do today, and I told her I wanted my cervix checked just to put my mind at ease. Not once did I feel like I was being a bother or an inconvenience.
Then the moment of truth: I told her how I felt about having a c-section, and she said as long as baby A was head down, we could go for it. Whew! I realize things may not go as I imagine or plan them, but I am overjoyed at finding a practice (at the last minute, no less) that is right in line with how I'd like to do things. I have another appointment in two days to do all the stuff we didnt get to do today, so hopefully that visit will go as well as this one did.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Gail saves the day!
My life isnt terribly interesting and my pregnancy has been kinda ho-hum, so I dont have as much to write as I thought I would. Today, I am going to rant. I am pissed. I havent been very happy with my OB office, it's a very large practice, and having come from a practice where there was just one gynecologist, I kinda feel like a cow being herded along. My pregnancy has been fairly easy, no complications and overall relatively comfortable considering there are two other people living in my body. But it's still a high-risk pregnancy and should be treated as such, and it hasnt.
I had been hoping that into my 3rd trimester that they would ramp up the level of care I received, but I'll never know because the day before yesterday they called to drop me as their patient. I am the card-holder for the insurance, but because I am part-time and have been working at this job for less than a year, I was worried that if I had to go on bed-rest or deliver early, that I would lose my benefits. So I applied for state assistance as a back up plan. My primary insurance covers everything at the moment, but I gave them the Medicaid card at my last visit just so they'd have it.
Well, they dont take Medicaid. Okay, thats fine...just bill my regular insurance and be done with it. No...they refuse to take Medicaid patients. I went 'round and round with the lady on the phone. I worked at a pharmacy for 6 years, I have a very strong understanding of different insurances and how they work, so its not like I wasnt talking out of my ass, here. Well, she said either I had to drop the Medicaid or they could no longer see me. Do what? Really, lady?
At this point I was done, if they were so ready to drop me this late in the game (with twins, goddammit!!) over a trivial ass insurance issue, then it was very obvious to me that my care was not a concern and they could go get fucked. I'm not going to drop my back up plan because they dont know how to dual-bill insurance. So, I asked her where I was supposed to find an OB at 27 weeks? She gave me a number and when I called, it was a listing for free clinics. Um, I'm sorry, but no.
So I spent all of yesterday morning calling different doctors offices. Some of them I could tell didnt quite believe my story (because it makes no fucking sense) and thought I was dropped for other reasons, or couldnt take me because I was over their 26 week cutoff. I was seriously about to lose my shit.
So I called my old gynecologist office and asked to speak with Gail the nurse, who sadly knows me on a first name basis (I had bleeding issues a couple years back and was seriously going to the office like every month). She was like, "Okay, heres what I want you to do...take down this number and ask for Karen, tell her I told you to call her and explain to her what's going on". So I called right after I got off the phone with Gail and was able to patch right through to Karen. She asked a couple questions to clarify and I could tell by her tone that she didnt think it made any sense either. But she got me an appointment for next week, the same day I was supposed to have one with the old office. Whew! What a load off my shoulders. I called Gail and thanked her profusely for her help. I may try to bring her something when I go to my appointment.
The only downside is that this office and the hospital is about an hour away. I like the hospital a lot (it has a jacuzzi), but the distance is the reason why I didnt chose an office associated with in the first place. But really, it's my first pregnanacy, it's not like I'm going to just pop em out in the car ride there or anything. I'm a little concerned, my new OB has been doing this for like, over 40 years, and I've heard he's a little old-fashioned, so I'm worried he'll push me into having a c-section, which I dont want unless the babies or my life is in danger. I have an appointment next week, we'll see how it goes.
I had been hoping that into my 3rd trimester that they would ramp up the level of care I received, but I'll never know because the day before yesterday they called to drop me as their patient. I am the card-holder for the insurance, but because I am part-time and have been working at this job for less than a year, I was worried that if I had to go on bed-rest or deliver early, that I would lose my benefits. So I applied for state assistance as a back up plan. My primary insurance covers everything at the moment, but I gave them the Medicaid card at my last visit just so they'd have it.
Well, they dont take Medicaid. Okay, thats fine...just bill my regular insurance and be done with it. No...they refuse to take Medicaid patients. I went 'round and round with the lady on the phone. I worked at a pharmacy for 6 years, I have a very strong understanding of different insurances and how they work, so its not like I wasnt talking out of my ass, here. Well, she said either I had to drop the Medicaid or they could no longer see me. Do what? Really, lady?
At this point I was done, if they were so ready to drop me this late in the game (with twins, goddammit!!) over a trivial ass insurance issue, then it was very obvious to me that my care was not a concern and they could go get fucked. I'm not going to drop my back up plan because they dont know how to dual-bill insurance. So, I asked her where I was supposed to find an OB at 27 weeks? She gave me a number and when I called, it was a listing for free clinics. Um, I'm sorry, but no.
So I spent all of yesterday morning calling different doctors offices. Some of them I could tell didnt quite believe my story (because it makes no fucking sense) and thought I was dropped for other reasons, or couldnt take me because I was over their 26 week cutoff. I was seriously about to lose my shit.
So I called my old gynecologist office and asked to speak with Gail the nurse, who sadly knows me on a first name basis (I had bleeding issues a couple years back and was seriously going to the office like every month). She was like, "Okay, heres what I want you to do...take down this number and ask for Karen, tell her I told you to call her and explain to her what's going on". So I called right after I got off the phone with Gail and was able to patch right through to Karen. She asked a couple questions to clarify and I could tell by her tone that she didnt think it made any sense either. But she got me an appointment for next week, the same day I was supposed to have one with the old office. Whew! What a load off my shoulders. I called Gail and thanked her profusely for her help. I may try to bring her something when I go to my appointment.
The only downside is that this office and the hospital is about an hour away. I like the hospital a lot (it has a jacuzzi), but the distance is the reason why I didnt chose an office associated with in the first place. But really, it's my first pregnanacy, it's not like I'm going to just pop em out in the car ride there or anything. I'm a little concerned, my new OB has been doing this for like, over 40 years, and I've heard he's a little old-fashioned, so I'm worried he'll push me into having a c-section, which I dont want unless the babies or my life is in danger. I have an appointment next week, we'll see how it goes.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Rodeo season has just started up in my area, and my husband has recovered from his cancer surgery and radiation just in time to help out working the gates. He's expressed his desire to get on "one more time". Nope. Not happening. So I go with him to make sure he doesnt do anything silly. I was able to make it this week without crying through the mutton-bustin' (where 5-7 year olds ride a sheep for 4 seconds). Those little boys just look so cute in their little chaps, belt buckles and protective vests.
Thats what I wanted so bad, little cowboys of my own. I had their names all picked out, they'd be Fisher David Alan and Hunter John Heath (how incredibly redneck, I know!). They would ride little sheep, and go hunting with dad and fishing with me, they'd splash in the mud and make tracks in the carpet when I called 'em in for lunch, if there was a bug in the house, they'd take care of it. What the hell am I going to do with two more girls?
Everyone tells me I'm going to love them once they get here, and I'm sure they're right, but I just can't help but wonder if I'd love them more if they had penises.
Thats what I wanted so bad, little cowboys of my own. I had their names all picked out, they'd be Fisher David Alan and Hunter John Heath (how incredibly redneck, I know!). They would ride little sheep, and go hunting with dad and fishing with me, they'd splash in the mud and make tracks in the carpet when I called 'em in for lunch, if there was a bug in the house, they'd take care of it. What the hell am I going to do with two more girls?
Everyone tells me I'm going to love them once they get here, and I'm sure they're right, but I just can't help but wonder if I'd love them more if they had penises.
Friday, April 8, 2011
School Troubles
I have a lot of sympathy for teachers. They have to deal with a lot of crap; on a limited budget and limited means of disciplining their students. For example:
Poor teachers had to barricade themselves from this little pipsqueak because if they did anything to defend themselves, they'd be the ones on the news and in the unemployment line!
However, I was a little irritated when I got a letter* from the school more or less saying our 13 year old, R, was being disruptive in class.
*It wasnt so much a letter as an evaluation straight out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for ADHD
Not that she's a perfect little angel, no, far from it. I was upset that they waited FIVE MONTHS before saying anything to me about it. And then basically telling me that she needs to be medicated. First off, they're not qualified therapists and had no business making an evaluation without our consent anyway. Second off, we're not drugging the kid. I'm sure there are plenty of children who legitimately need to be medicated, but having worked in a pharmacy for 6 years; more often than not parents just want a easy fix to a hard problem.
So I had a meeting with the guidance counselor (whom I've already had to set straight after she called DSS on us without calling first), R's math teacher, reading teacher and the nurse. We came to the general consensus that R is starved for attention and thats why she acted out. They were all quick to assure me that R doesnt disrupt the other students, which was my main concern. Finally I told them point blank that we were not interested in putting her on medication and were looking into alternative parenting methods to correct her behavior. I found this great book Ritalin is Not the Answer by Dr. Stein at the used bookstore, it's a little dated but I really liked some of the ideas. I told them that we had been using some of the ideas and that they seem to be helping, such as putting R in time out, which I suggested the teachers try. They were horrified. "We cant do that!" Wait. What? You cant put a kid in time out anymore? Really?
And this is why we'll be seeing a lot more news stories like the one linked above. I may consider home schooling the twins.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Welcome to the herd
I've never done this blog thing before, so let's see how long I can keep it up. Let me start by introducing myself and my family:
I am 23 and am in my 24th week of pregnancy with twin girls. My husband is 41 and works on a farm, he's my cowboy. We have three children in our home; ages 11, 13 and 16. The two youngest are girls, the 13 year old is my husbands biological daughter while the other two are her siblings. They all call us "mom" and "dad" (it is a little awkward coming from someone 6 years younger, I admit) and we're all just one big huge happy hunky-dory family. Okay, not quite, we've only been married for 10 months today after dating for 14, and this is the first year the kids have lived away from their mom, so it's been quite the learning experience for all of us.
Having spent the past week reading mother-of-twin blogs, I am terrified. Before, I was worried about how uncomfortable my pregnancy might be, pre-term labor, not wanting a c-section. I realize now that it'll be over in 3 months (or less) but I'll have to spend the next 10+ years of two children being completely dependent on me for everything. Also, I'm just now starting on my baby registry on Babies R Us and it's so overwhelming....what could two tiny little people possibly need?
I am 23 and am in my 24th week of pregnancy with twin girls. My husband is 41 and works on a farm, he's my cowboy. We have three children in our home; ages 11, 13 and 16. The two youngest are girls, the 13 year old is my husbands biological daughter while the other two are her siblings. They all call us "mom" and "dad" (it is a little awkward coming from someone 6 years younger, I admit) and we're all just one big huge happy hunky-dory family. Okay, not quite, we've only been married for 10 months today after dating for 14, and this is the first year the kids have lived away from their mom, so it's been quite the learning experience for all of us.
Having spent the past week reading mother-of-twin blogs, I am terrified. Before, I was worried about how uncomfortable my pregnancy might be, pre-term labor, not wanting a c-section. I realize now that it'll be over in 3 months (or less) but I'll have to spend the next 10+ years of two children being completely dependent on me for everything. Also, I'm just now starting on my baby registry on Babies R Us and it's so overwhelming....what could two tiny little people possibly need?
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