I took the girls to their new pediatrician yesterday. I like her a whole bunch, she was very forthcoming with information and educating me on what to expect with the girls. They have both gained about 2 pounds each and grew nearly 2 inches. Heather is developing on time and Savannah is a couple weeks ahead. I hope Heather catches up soon, it would make me feel soo much better if they were both reaching milestones at the same time.
Also yesterday, I got a call from a company I interviewed with last year. I was in the process of deciding on a house during the interview process. When I didnt hear back, we moved into the house that my husband liked, but was over 50 miles away from the job. They ended up offering me the position, but I declined it because there would be no pay increase, then I went into work that night and lost my job. Now I'm working part time in the evenings for the bank for much less pay. Another position opened up with this company that they want to interview me for.
Well, shit. What am I supposed to do? Hubby can only work part time, his body just isnt up to working any more hours than he is and has to take much more painkillers than he would like just to function. It's been killing me to no longer be the breadwinner, but I did like being able to stay at home with the babies during the daytime. And now that I got rid of the Mustang, making a 100 mile commute daily in an SUV just doesnt make sense. I could make it work though...mominlaw offered to watch the kids in the daytime, so I could drop them and the SUV off in the morning and drive her coupe the rest of the way. Hubby could work even less hours since he works for his dad. If the moneys right, I would be an absolute moron to turn them down twice. I just hate to miss that much time with the girls. The interview is Tuesday, I know I'm going to spend all weekend worrying about it.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
So far, so good
We survived our first month! The girls turned 4 weeks yesterday and are doing great! They've gotten so big, I swear they've doubled in size since we brought them home. I don't know when it happened; one day I could hold them in one hand, the next day they outgrew their preemie clothes and fit into their newborn stuff. Other than the first week, it really hasn't been all that hard.
I thought I had them all figured out. In the womb, Heather was very active and Savannah just chilled in one spot. In fact, I could go all day without feeling Savannah kick and not be concerned because she just wasn't very active. Now it's completely opposite! And I know I didn't get them mixed up because Heather was bigger the whole pregnancy, and my doctor told me which one was in what position. Savannah rolled over onto her side the day we brought her from the hospital and now she doesn't sit still. I've gone into the nursery to find her not where I laid her down. A couple times she's scooted real close to Heather and Heather was in the process of trying to eat her leg. Today we were taking pictures of them together and Heather was trying to eat Savannahs head. Little cannibal!
They have a doctors appointment Thursday, I can't wait to see how much they've grown!
Monday, July 18, 2011
It's not so bad
The kids left for Florida today and in preparation for that I've been trying to handle the twins by myself. I've taken over nighttime feedings so hubby can sleep at night. It's easy for me to wake up, do what needs to be done and then go back to sleep; he can't quite do that. I've figured out that I can feed both girls at once by resting the bottle on a wadded up blanket. That's been a big help, but I feel a little guilty by not holding them while they're eating so I try to compensate by holding them at other times. They are awake at different times and that makes it easier to divide my time. I can hold them both at once, but it makes me a little nervous trying to pick up the second one.
Still don't have an airtight schedule, but I'm not worried about it. With so many different people helping me it's hard to enforce anyway; especially with hubby, who has no concept of time whatsoever. I try to feed around every 3 to 4 hours, but I usually wait until Savannah is hungry because Heather will eat whenever. They're getting sooooo big! They've outgrown their preemie clothes, but a lot of the newborn stuff still doesn't fit well. Savannah's really strong. She rolled over onto her side the day we brought her home, now she can get to her tummy. Last night, I swaddled her and laid her down parallel to Heather. I checked on her later and she had escaped her blanket and was lying perpendicular to Heather!
Tomorrow I'm staying at home instead of my in-laws where I've been since I got put on bedrest. I have a lot of cleaning to do (which I absolutely hate) and my MIL is going to be gone most of the day anyway, so if I'm going to be home alone anyway, I might as well be productive. I wont be completely flying solo though, my birth mom and little sister will be coming over since they keep their horses here now. But I think it should be fine, I'm more worried about the whole cleaning business, yech. Wish me luck!
Still don't have an airtight schedule, but I'm not worried about it. With so many different people helping me it's hard to enforce anyway; especially with hubby, who has no concept of time whatsoever. I try to feed around every 3 to 4 hours, but I usually wait until Savannah is hungry because Heather will eat whenever. They're getting sooooo big! They've outgrown their preemie clothes, but a lot of the newborn stuff still doesn't fit well. Savannah's really strong. She rolled over onto her side the day we brought her home, now she can get to her tummy. Last night, I swaddled her and laid her down parallel to Heather. I checked on her later and she had escaped her blanket and was lying perpendicular to Heather!
Tomorrow I'm staying at home instead of my in-laws where I've been since I got put on bedrest. I have a lot of cleaning to do (which I absolutely hate) and my MIL is going to be gone most of the day anyway, so if I'm going to be home alone anyway, I might as well be productive. I wont be completely flying solo though, my birth mom and little sister will be coming over since they keep their horses here now. But I think it should be fine, I'm more worried about the whole cleaning business, yech. Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I can do this
After watching a couple episodes of Make Room for Multiples, I'm feeling a LOT better (I can't imagine having triplets!!). While we're not on an airtight feeding schedule, it's getting there. Nighttime feedings are easier and I can handle them myself now. It is easier for someone else to feed one baby, but I'm not always going to have someone there to help. I cant wait until they can hold their own bottles!
My step-daugher R has completely surprised me. I was really worried that she would be very jealous and resentful since her dad wasnt around when she was little. She's been such a great help with feeding and changing and keeping an eye on them while I nap. She even told me I could wake her up in the middle of the night if I needed her. Too cute. It's really helped our relationship, she was the one I had the hardest time dealing with. I can't say the same for A, though.
A's had a real attitude problem since we brought the babies home. She's just been real difficult to deal with and she doesnt refer to them by their name; she'll call them That Baby or The Other One and it totally pisses me off. We've been calling them by their names since we settled on names a few months ago! I even try to dress Savannah in pink and Heather in purple to make it easier on everyone else to tell them apart at a glance. Maybe it's just the fact that she's no longer the baby of the house thats bothering her, I'm really not sure. The kids maternal grandmother is coming to pick them up to take them back to Florida for two weeks, and A is talking about not wanting to come back.
I'm torn on how I feel about that. On one hand, she's a pain in the ass most of the time and has a lot of issues that I really dont have the energy or resources to deal with. Also, if she was gone I would have room for another baby if/when I wanted it. But then I feel awful for feeling that way because I know that she doesnt really have a chance if she goes back to her mom. But then again, it's one thing to screw up my own kids, but I cant handle the thought of screwing up someone elses kids. I really dont know. Realistically I probably wont have to worry about it, since mom probably wont want to keep her (she reminds us of Casey Anthony, after she got rid of her kids, she added "Luv'n Life" as a signature to her text messages) and the decision will be made for me.
Whew...kinda went off on a tangent there. Also, I'm looking for a work-from-home job, if anybody knows of something legitimate, let me know!
My step-daugher R has completely surprised me. I was really worried that she would be very jealous and resentful since her dad wasnt around when she was little. She's been such a great help with feeding and changing and keeping an eye on them while I nap. She even told me I could wake her up in the middle of the night if I needed her. Too cute. It's really helped our relationship, she was the one I had the hardest time dealing with. I can't say the same for A, though.
A's had a real attitude problem since we brought the babies home. She's just been real difficult to deal with and she doesnt refer to them by their name; she'll call them That Baby or The Other One and it totally pisses me off. We've been calling them by their names since we settled on names a few months ago! I even try to dress Savannah in pink and Heather in purple to make it easier on everyone else to tell them apart at a glance. Maybe it's just the fact that she's no longer the baby of the house thats bothering her, I'm really not sure. The kids maternal grandmother is coming to pick them up to take them back to Florida for two weeks, and A is talking about not wanting to come back.
I'm torn on how I feel about that. On one hand, she's a pain in the ass most of the time and has a lot of issues that I really dont have the energy or resources to deal with. Also, if she was gone I would have room for another baby if/when I wanted it. But then I feel awful for feeling that way because I know that she doesnt really have a chance if she goes back to her mom. But then again, it's one thing to screw up my own kids, but I cant handle the thought of screwing up someone elses kids. I really dont know. Realistically I probably wont have to worry about it, since mom probably wont want to keep her (she reminds us of Casey Anthony, after she got rid of her kids, she added "Luv'n Life" as a signature to her text messages) and the decision will be made for me.
Whew...kinda went off on a tangent there. Also, I'm looking for a work-from-home job, if anybody knows of something legitimate, let me know!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Another long-winded, nonsensical post
Instead of catching up on some much needed sleep, I am wide awake and on the computer for the second time in two weeks. Considering I spend every waking moment either on my laptop or reading a book, this is quite a change. There are so many things I want to do that just aren't getting done. I really do want to fill out the baby books, and upload pictures and write thank-you notes and all sorts of stuff.
And it's okay. I have to keep telling myself that. It's going to be okay. People get through this part all the time. Bad mommies get through this part, so I'm sure I can do it too.
A day after we brought the babies home, Savannah (baby A) gave me such a scare that we rushed her to the ER in the driving rain. She just wouldn't wake up, wouldn't eat and was very lethargic. It reminded me of the sheep that I had bottle-fed earlier this year that upon weaning, starved to death because he just wouldn't eat grass (I felt awful, because I had joked that he was practice for the twins). The entire ride to the hospital, I was hysterical. My husband insisted on going all the way back to the place I delivered because the local hospitals weren't good enough. My mother-in-law and close friend from church met us there. We only waited a few minutes before being taken back into triage.
Then I felt like the worlds biggest moron, because Savannah woke up squalling after getting violated with the rectal thermometer. Not that I blame her, mind you. The doctor looked her over and said that she looked good, was back up to her birth weight and was just a lazy baby. So apparently I named the girls all wrong, I named Heather after her father because the entire pregnancy she was the one kicking, bouncing around and being a general pain in my ass. As it turns out, Savannah has been the problem child. She wouldn't breastfeed, making me feel like a complete and total failure.
I had a pretty bad case of the baby blues not long after we brought the babies home. Hubby really stepped up to the plate and took over when I really just...couldn't. He took over feeding Savannah because it would just frustrate the hell out of me that she wouldn't eat. What kind of crackpot mom am I that cant feed her kid?
My mom-in-law was also a great help. She noticed I wasn't feeling right and was very supportive, as usual. She is a wonderful person and such an inspiration to me. Once I realized that I didn't have to do everything by myself and that it was okay to lean on others for support, I felt much better. My advice for anyone with the baby blues is to be open with someone you trust about your feelings, that way you have a way to get it off your chest and someone else can keep an eye out for post-partum depression. A couple good naps and a few hours out of the house made everything all better.
We had doctors appointments at week one and week two, they're doing well. I like the doctor, she was the one that first saw signs of my husbands cancer, but I don't really feel that she's comfortable with babies. I took MIL on the second appointment and she asked her a bunch of questions that seemed to kinda stump her, so I'm going to take them to an actual pediatrician.
Savannahs' eating better, most of the time. She has a game she likes to play when she's not really very hungry. She'll suck on the bottle and fill her mouth then spit it all out.
We still have days and nights mixed up and I can tell it's really starting to wear on my husband. He's still in so much pain, which worries him. He made himself an appointment with the oncologist, so I know he's not feeling well. Last night, we just couldn't get them to calm down. They were fed and dry, but wouldn't stop crying. We had to put them in their room and just close the door. I felt awful.
But it's going to be okay. Right?
And it's okay. I have to keep telling myself that. It's going to be okay. People get through this part all the time. Bad mommies get through this part, so I'm sure I can do it too.
A day after we brought the babies home, Savannah (baby A) gave me such a scare that we rushed her to the ER in the driving rain. She just wouldn't wake up, wouldn't eat and was very lethargic. It reminded me of the sheep that I had bottle-fed earlier this year that upon weaning, starved to death because he just wouldn't eat grass (I felt awful, because I had joked that he was practice for the twins). The entire ride to the hospital, I was hysterical. My husband insisted on going all the way back to the place I delivered because the local hospitals weren't good enough. My mother-in-law and close friend from church met us there. We only waited a few minutes before being taken back into triage.
Then I felt like the worlds biggest moron, because Savannah woke up squalling after getting violated with the rectal thermometer. Not that I blame her, mind you. The doctor looked her over and said that she looked good, was back up to her birth weight and was just a lazy baby. So apparently I named the girls all wrong, I named Heather after her father because the entire pregnancy she was the one kicking, bouncing around and being a general pain in my ass. As it turns out, Savannah has been the problem child. She wouldn't breastfeed, making me feel like a complete and total failure.
I had a pretty bad case of the baby blues not long after we brought the babies home. Hubby really stepped up to the plate and took over when I really just...couldn't. He took over feeding Savannah because it would just frustrate the hell out of me that she wouldn't eat. What kind of crackpot mom am I that cant feed her kid?
My mom-in-law was also a great help. She noticed I wasn't feeling right and was very supportive, as usual. She is a wonderful person and such an inspiration to me. Once I realized that I didn't have to do everything by myself and that it was okay to lean on others for support, I felt much better. My advice for anyone with the baby blues is to be open with someone you trust about your feelings, that way you have a way to get it off your chest and someone else can keep an eye out for post-partum depression. A couple good naps and a few hours out of the house made everything all better.
We had doctors appointments at week one and week two, they're doing well. I like the doctor, she was the one that first saw signs of my husbands cancer, but I don't really feel that she's comfortable with babies. I took MIL on the second appointment and she asked her a bunch of questions that seemed to kinda stump her, so I'm going to take them to an actual pediatrician.
Savannahs' eating better, most of the time. She has a game she likes to play when she's not really very hungry. She'll suck on the bottle and fill her mouth then spit it all out.
We still have days and nights mixed up and I can tell it's really starting to wear on my husband. He's still in so much pain, which worries him. He made himself an appointment with the oncologist, so I know he's not feeling well. Last night, we just couldn't get them to calm down. They were fed and dry, but wouldn't stop crying. We had to put them in their room and just close the door. I felt awful.
But it's going to be okay. Right?
Friday, July 8, 2011
Here we are!
*Warning: Long Post Ahead*
So a day after my last post, I was going potty for the eight-millionth time when my water broke at 2:40pm. I called my husband, sloshed downstairs, told my mom-in-law and called my OB. They told me to come to the office to get checked out. I'm still not exactly sure why, but I hopped in the shower while I waited for hubby to pick me up. I was the most calm out of everyone, assuring them I was fine and that it'd probably be a while. I wasnt even having contractions. So I'm sitting on the table, still leaking like mad, when the mid-wife comes in to take a look. "Oh yeah, you're in labor, go to the hospital". Well no shit, Sherlock. I've expelled enough water to fill an Olympic-style pool, I'm pretty sure I could have come to the same determination.
We drove the extra 10 minutes to the hospital, wait an additional 10 at the triage desk before they put me in a room. At this point I stared having contractions and damn did they hurt! The nurse came in and determined that I am 7 cm dilated, after being 5-6 cm just 20 minutes ago at the office. My husband at this point had, or so I thought, gone to get my mother-in-law, but was taking too long to get back. I frantically called both their cell phones continuously until his mom answered. They were eating lunch! Fuckers. I wasnt speaking in complete sentences, but I managed to convey the fact that I wanted him back NOW. He made it back in time to get handed scrubs and sit through a few of my contractions. He made some smart ass comment and got cussed out. I didnt remember that part until he brought it up a few days later and now neither of us can remember what he said. (Or maybe he remembers and doesnt want to tell me). I even snapped at the nurse because I wanted those stupid heart monitors off so I could move. I am always polite to nurses, so I felt really bad afterwards. It wasnt very long before I was wheeled into the OR (Baby A was still breech, bad girl). As much as I didnt want a c-section, I was so relieved when that epidural hit. I had to ask my husband if the doctor had started cutting yet. He was elbow-deep in my tummy, apparently. Hubby held my hand the entire time, but peeked around the sheet to see his little girls come into the world. At 5:43pm, Baby A emerged screaming and weighed 5 lbs 3 oz and measured 18 inches long. Baby B joined her, also screaming, at 5:44pm at 5 lbs 11 oz and 18.5.
They're two weeks today, and it'll have to wait til another post to go over the past two weeks, I'm going to take a nap
So a day after my last post, I was going potty for the eight-millionth time when my water broke at 2:40pm. I called my husband, sloshed downstairs, told my mom-in-law and called my OB. They told me to come to the office to get checked out. I'm still not exactly sure why, but I hopped in the shower while I waited for hubby to pick me up. I was the most calm out of everyone, assuring them I was fine and that it'd probably be a while. I wasnt even having contractions. So I'm sitting on the table, still leaking like mad, when the mid-wife comes in to take a look. "Oh yeah, you're in labor, go to the hospital". Well no shit, Sherlock. I've expelled enough water to fill an Olympic-style pool, I'm pretty sure I could have come to the same determination.
We drove the extra 10 minutes to the hospital, wait an additional 10 at the triage desk before they put me in a room. At this point I stared having contractions and damn did they hurt! The nurse came in and determined that I am 7 cm dilated, after being 5-6 cm just 20 minutes ago at the office. My husband at this point had, or so I thought, gone to get my mother-in-law, but was taking too long to get back. I frantically called both their cell phones continuously until his mom answered. They were eating lunch! Fuckers. I wasnt speaking in complete sentences, but I managed to convey the fact that I wanted him back NOW. He made it back in time to get handed scrubs and sit through a few of my contractions. He made some smart ass comment and got cussed out. I didnt remember that part until he brought it up a few days later and now neither of us can remember what he said. (Or maybe he remembers and doesnt want to tell me). I even snapped at the nurse because I wanted those stupid heart monitors off so I could move. I am always polite to nurses, so I felt really bad afterwards. It wasnt very long before I was wheeled into the OR (Baby A was still breech, bad girl). As much as I didnt want a c-section, I was so relieved when that epidural hit. I had to ask my husband if the doctor had started cutting yet. He was elbow-deep in my tummy, apparently. Hubby held my hand the entire time, but peeked around the sheet to see his little girls come into the world. At 5:43pm, Baby A emerged screaming and weighed 5 lbs 3 oz and measured 18 inches long. Baby B joined her, also screaming, at 5:44pm at 5 lbs 11 oz and 18.5.
They're two weeks today, and it'll have to wait til another post to go over the past two weeks, I'm going to take a nap
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