I can do this

After watching a couple episodes of Make Room for Multiples, I'm feeling a LOT better (I can't imagine having triplets!!). While we're not on an airtight feeding schedule, it's getting there. Nighttime feedings are easier and I can handle them myself now. It is easier for someone else to feed one baby, but I'm not always going to have someone there to help. I cant wait until they can hold their own bottles!

My step-daugher R has completely surprised me. I was really worried that she would be very jealous and resentful since her dad wasnt around when she was little. She's been such a great help with feeding and changing and keeping an eye on them while I nap. She even told me I could wake her up in the middle of the night if I needed her. Too cute. It's really helped our relationship, she was the one I had the hardest time dealing with. I can't say the same for A, though.

A's had a real attitude problem since we brought the babies home. She's just been real difficult to deal with and she doesnt refer to them by their name; she'll call them That Baby or The Other One and it totally pisses me off. We've been calling them by their names since we settled on names a few months ago! I even try to dress Savannah in pink and Heather in purple to make it easier on everyone else to tell them apart at a glance. Maybe it's just the fact that she's no longer the baby of the house thats bothering her, I'm really not sure. The kids maternal grandmother is coming to pick them up to take them back to Florida for two weeks, and A is talking about not wanting to come back.

I'm torn on how I feel about that. On one hand, she's a pain in the ass most of the time and has a lot of issues that I really dont have the energy or resources to deal with. Also, if she was gone I would have room for another baby if/when I wanted it. But then I feel awful for feeling that way because I know that she doesnt really have a chance if she goes back to her mom. But then again, it's one thing to screw up my own kids, but I cant handle the thought of screwing up someone elses kids. I really dont know. Realistically I probably wont have to worry about it, since mom probably wont want to keep her (she reminds us of Casey Anthony, after she got rid of her kids, she added "Luv'n Life" as a signature to her text messages) and the decision will be made for me.

Whew...kinda went off on a tangent there. Also, I'm looking for a work-from-home job, if anybody knows of something legitimate, let me know!